saadhvi: i like my women like i like my squirrels - preternaturally intelligent (squirrels)
[personal profile] saadhvi
 Why are the contents of my uterus subject to popular debate, discussion, and/or religious determination? The easiest way to piss me off: tell me I "have to have babies for Jesus". Someone said that to me, and proceeded to go on a fair bit of a tear that amounted to "if Jesus is in your life, nothing can go wrong - therefore, you should have children. Your own personal wishes and desires are irrelevant, as is your physical health, monetary state, or various other materials. You just need to have Jesus in your life, and start popping 'em out."

 I wasn't sure whether I felt more strongly as to be offended that my personal decisions meant so little, or flabbergasted that someone felt it was simply that important that I start having children that they provide me a 10-minute monologue on the matter. Having one's personal choices questioned is never a pleasant experience, regardless of whether it's a topic like assisted suicide or whether you want one cube of sugar or two in your tea/coffee. Having something as life-altering as a decision to postpone deciding on kids disregarded on religious grounds - someone else's religion! - absolutely astounded and boggled me.

 It's a fairly well-established fact that I don't like children very much at all - I prefer dealing with them when they're over the age of 7, preferably closer to 10. I have neither the patience nor the temperament (nor the desire) for childbearing and dependent childcare. I believe strongly that children should be seen and not heard, be obedient to their elders, take their failures as well as their successes (none of this 'don't mark my kid's paper in red' or 'homework shouldn't be graded, just effort!') and - most importantly - should be given an opportunity to develop their behaviours under the care of elders who care for them and desire to ensure they have the best successful childhood and adolescence to prepare them for the current world. I'm not ready for that - maybe in a year, maybe in three. It would be an absolutely poor choice for me to "have babies for Jesus" when I'm neither Christian nor inclined towards childbearing.

 The other thing about it - dislike of children aside - is the blatant disregard for the individual's opinions, instead making a blanket decision for someone else based off of nonshared religious principles. There is an implication that a) Jesus is in my life; b) Jesus wants me to have kids; c) that my reproduction is more important to Jesus than my personal happiness - or the decision that my husband and I have made; and d) someone else can dictate childbearing policy.

 Avoiding topics of pro-life vs pro-choice, government established policies on the rights women and men have regarding children, etc. ... This smacks to me of religious dictatorship from a conservative patriarchal religion. Had there been logic presented rather than belief, I might have been willing to engage in discourse. But being told that I was obligated to start having children because another individual's religion dictated it made me uncomfortable, and disappointed in that individual.

The situation happened a few months ago, but has still stuck with me as an unpleasantness. So... getting it out there and venting a bit. :)

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saadhvi

April 2011

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